Book Reviews | Motherworldly

31 Dec

A trilogy of book reviews

These are the last three books I have read in 2017, a very satisfying year when it comes to reading. I am not sure how I have managed to find the time, but hope that a less crazy 2018 might mean even more reading time!

A Midwife’s Story – Penny Armstrong & Sheryl Feldman

In this memoir of midwifery among the Amish community, Penny Armstrong reflects on her growth and development as a midwife. It’s fascinating to see her confidence in straightforward birth in a home environment increase through experience. She is well-placed to make the comparison with hospital birth in the 1970s, and it is horrifying to note how little has changed. The vignettes of Amish life are also charming, and this is a well-written memoir – certainly the best story of midwifery I’ve read, thanks to writer Sheryl Feldman’s well-judged turn of phrase. I found it utterly absorbing.

[Disclosure: Pinter & Martin sent me a free review copy of this book; you can get a 10% discount on your copy if you use the offer code SPROGCAST at checkout on their website.]

How To Have A Baby – Natalie Meddings

How To Have A Baby is a doula in a book. It’s nearly a big enough book to fit in an actual doula, and crammed with wisdom (just the “big necessaries,” writes Natalie Meddings) sourced from her own experience and the stories of many mothers. Meddings’ tone, like the ideal doula, is firm but gentle, calm and encouraging.

The book takes the expectant mother through the usual route of pregnancy and planning, into labour, birth and the unexpected, and out the other side to feeding and newborn days. Descriptions are clear and “tips and tricks” are shared helpfully at every stage. Meddings is pragmatic and honest. Birth is discussed in terms of an involuntary bodily function, and how to create the optimal conditions for this to happen. Induction is presented as “a ticket on the intervention rollercoaster” (p116) which is an interesting choice of words, however the pages explaining induction are practical and compassionate, giving a clear idea of what happens and what can help.

This book is an excellent resource for birth planning. Meddings is very concerned with consent and human rights, both of which she covers very clearly; and this is her real strength. I much prefer these well-referenced and forthright pages, to the liberal sprinkling of homeopathy etc alongside the useful coping suggestions.

You are waiting to hear what I think of the breastfeeding information, so I won’t keep you in any more suspense. With contributions from Maddie McMahon, the importance of early feeding and skin to skin is discussed, and Meddings describes the newborn feeding reflexes and how to support the baby to self-attach. It is a little surprising when she goes on to describe a rather prescriptive way to hold the baby, which does not support those reflexes so well, given her let-nature-take-its-course-and-things-will-work approach to other aspects of birth and parenting. And sound the klaxon for “breastfeeding granola,” which looks delicious but should correctly be termed “granola,” given that breastfeeding experience is not generally influenced by the consumption of roasted oats and nuts and so on.

Matters are redeemed by the rest of the new-baby/new-mother section, referencing such respected authors as Naomi Stadlen and Deborah Jackson, and with plenty of exhortations to eat cake.

I think this book is jam-packed with stuff that would be useful during labour and birth, and it would set up a new mother nicely for those early days and beyond. Practically speaking, the book is probably a bit too chunky to carry around with you and make notes in, as Meddings suggests in the beginning; in fact I think it would work brilliantly as a loose-leaf binder (or perhaps an app), so the reader can pull out relevant sections as needed (which would facilitate reading whilst feeding). Some websites and numbers are given to access support but there could be a lot more of this. On the whole a very highly recommended book for practitioners and parents-to-be alike.

[Disclosure: Natalie sent me a free copy of her book to review – thank you!]

Eleven Hours – Pamela Erens

The last book I finished reading this year was perfect to follow these two, and I think I may even have bought it myself. In Eleven Hours, Lore is in labour, cared for by Franckline who is also in the early stages of pregnancy. As Lore’s contractions come and go, we learn both women’s sad stories: Franckline’s lost babies, and Lore’s lost love. Franckline’s midwifery is full of empathy and kindness, but this is starkly framed by the harsh restrictions and requirements of hospital policy, and the insensitive words and actions of her colleagues.

Lore arrives in the maternity ward alone, with a five page birth plan. Franckline is the only one to read and respect this, and does her best to steer things back towards Lore’s wishes, even as events keep on sliding off track. The labour progresses slowly, and then takes an unpredictable turn. Gripping fiction, and a great way to wrap up Meddings and Armstrong, and 2017.

12 Dec

Book Review: The Expectant Dad’s Handbook, by Dean Beaumont

This book came out a few years ago to accompany Dean Beaumont’s DaddyNatal antenatal course for men. It covers pregnancy, labour and birth, and life after birth, in a chatty but intelligent style, while keeping the focus firmly on the partner’s role in supporting the new mother or mother-to-be. I like Beaumont’s approach of describing the situation and the options available, and then exploring what the partner can do to give support.

As with all such books, the first chapter I looked at was the one on breastfeeding. Unlike the birth chapters, Beaumont gives no ‘how it works’ information, which is disappointing given that I often find the men in an antenatal session to be fascinated by the science. In a scant five pages, there is a little too much focus on how dads can get it wrong, and of course the inevitable suggestion that they can help out by giving a bottle, with little exploration of the complications that this can introduce. Formula feeding doesn’t get so much as a sidelong glance.

However, this is the weakest part of the book, and in fact the information on labour and on life with a new baby is thorough and evidence-based. I would recommend this book to an Expectant Dad, but I’d also suggest something a bit more comprehensive on feeding, alongside.

23 Nov

Book Review: Beautiful Birth, by Suzanne Yates

This is a nice book, a keeper for sure. Beautiful Birth is an attractive, slim volume with an immediate appeal to anyone looking for practical techniques for coping with childbirth.

It has two main sections. The first section covers breathing and visualisation, positions for labour, and massage. It gives an uncomplicated rationale for why these things are helpful, and a step by step approach to practicing them during pregnancy, and using them during labour. It does include a little more chinese medicine and shiatsu than I would normally be comfortable with, but actually the book is so useful that for once I’m not going to make snarky comments about that.

The second section is on preparing for birth, and is a straightforward explanation of what happens and how a woman can use the coping techniques from the first section, to help herself have a positive experience. Its approach to planning the birth is about connecting with yourself and reflecting on what kind of environment and support feels best. It touches on decision making when things don’t go to plan, and very briefly on the “fourth stage” of labour, meeting the baby.

I think most pregnant women could find something useful in Beautiful Birth, whatever kind of birth they are expecting; it’s never unhelpful to have some strategies for bringing calm. It’s a shame the pictures are not more ethnically diverse, but I would generally recommend this book.

[Disclosure: I was sent a free review copy by the publishers. You can get hold of it here, with a 10% discount at the checkout using the code SPROGCAST]

22 Nov

Book Review: Truly Happy Baby, by Holly Willoughby

Truly Happy Baby – Holly Willoughby

First, a confession. My name’s Karen and I have no idea who Holly Willoughby is. Having browsed her book, I understand that she is a photogenic mother of three. I assume she’s also some sort of television personality, former pop star, or reality TV type. Why her views on how to parent your baby are important escapes me completely, but an antenatal session rarely goes by these days without someone mentioning her wonderful book.

So I have acquired the wonderful book, and set out to see just how wonderful it truly is.

Holly explains in her introduction that, on becoming a mother, she became the expert on motherhood, and immediately knew she would write a book telling other mothers all the things that nobody else tells them. This is a subject I may have touched on before. Holly’s approach is encouraging: trust your instinct, don’t expect too much too soon, be led by your baby. These are all very important points. She’s also going to be as honest as she can, and give you lots of top tips that worked for her, but you should still do your own thing because every baby is different, and everything will be alright because love.

The book begins with a chapter on feeding, in which she shares some useful information but in the most mealy-mouthed way in order to be inclusive of mums who give formula. In the first few pages Holly provides a useful shopping list, some nonsense about what to eat to “improve the quality and quantity of the milk you are producing” (p17) and a recipe for lactation cookies. There are some pictures to demonstrate positioning, none of which are laid back and there are some helpline numbers for support, none of which are the NCT. She also perpetuates the unhelpful idea of foremilk and hindmilk. Solutions offered for painful nipples are lanolin cream and nipple shields, and absolutely no mention of positioning and attachment, or skilled support.

Moving on to expressing, she points out that “you’ll feel like a cow” (p29), but does at least mention the role of oxytocin in expressing milk.

On formula, she lets us know that she paid a premium for one with a probiotic; other useful information she might have included is that all baby formula must be made to the same standard, and different manufacturers use different names for the same added, unnecessary probiotics. She does describe the recommended method of making up formula, but on the facing page another one of her great tips is not to bother doing it like that because it’s just too much faff to feed your baby safely.

I love the section on winding, in which she says “there’s never a good reason not to wind” (p43) and then goes on to give a good reason not to wind (i.e. your baby doesn’t have wind).

On weaning, again Holly plays fast and loose with the guidelines, because “ultimately it’s up to you.” (p46) Of course this is true, but how can she expect the poor harried mother to decide when the information she shares is so contradictory?

You’d think by this time I would have stopped reading in order to maintain my famous calm, but I couldn’t help dipping into the chapter on sleep. So far so good, we have lots of information about safe sleeping conditions; however within two paragraphs she tells us that co-sleeping is not a good idea, but she did it anyway… on a sofa bed! So about as unsafe as you can get. Remember, she says, do what works for you. Every baby is different. She can’t say that enough, she says. (She can).

Unsurprisingly, Holly recommends getting into a routine from three months. There are lots of nice clock-shaped charts, which she recommends not trying to follow too closely because they worked for her but every baby is different, etc. Apparently turkey is a good food for getting a baby to sleep, who knew. Let’s skip the bit about sleep training, and move on to the useful stuff on getting support for your own sleep deprivation.

The next chapter is on wellbeing, and is actually a very useful and comprehensive guide to caring for a newborn. I’d be inclined to pull this bit out of the book and offer it to people who feel they need some sort of baby manual; it’s far better than the rest of it.

Chapter four, named Lifestyle, seems to be an extension of the wellbeing chapter, with a few extra bits about how to register a birth and how to go on holiday with a baby. None of this is particularly ground-breaking or unavailable online.

And finally, Looking After You. Here we learn about piles and postnatal depression. Interestingly, we get fewer personal anecdotes in the pages about resuming your sex life, but Holly does advise that it’s scientific fact that new mothers don’t love their partners for the next 18 months. No reference is provided for this fascinating piece of research.

So in summary, Holly Willoughby has three babies, but all babies are different and you should do what’s right for you. For £16.99 you too can benefit from this profound wisdom.

16 Nov

Book Review: Trust Your Body Trust Your Baby, by Rosie Newman

Rosie Newman’s book aims to inspire confidence and trust in a mother’s own instincts, through pregnancy and birth, feeding and mothering. It is a book for women who need help with the paradigm shift of becoming a new parent. One of the things that really comes across is the value of surrounding oneself with like-minded, positive people. Newman is well-read and draws extensively on the literature of attachment parenting and straightforward birth.

Trust Your Body Trust Your Baby is sensibly structured with a logical progression, starting with a practical chapter on preparation for the baby’s arrival. The birth chapter gives an interesting history of obstetrics, an explanation of the role of hormones, and a valiant attempt to convey the reality of labour.

The following chapters cover life after birth: establishing breastfeeding, sleep, attachment, and the emotional and psychological adjustment. All of this is extremely good stuff that I would recommend to new parents; it is well-referenced and although it comes from a firm base in attachment parenting, and includes a great deal of Newman’s own experience, it is written with empathy and compassion for both the mother and the baby.

The last chapter is on elimination communication, and might make some new parents wonder if this really is the book for them, or whether it is too far from the mainstream. My clients tend to think The Baby Whisperer is a “a bit of a hippie,” so I’m conscious of wanting books like this to be accessible. Of course there is a huge part of me that really doesn’t want to pull any punches, too.

I was writing this review at a very quiet breastfeeding drop-in. Two mothers came in and we were talking about the conflict between trusting your instincts as a mother, and coping with the pressures of modern life, lack of sleep, lack of support, and the weight of expectations that babies should behave in a certain way by a certain age (both babies were 3 months old and not behaving in a certain way at all). So I gave one of them the book; may it help her find her way.

[Disclosure: I received a free review copy of this book from the publishers. You can get your own copy here, and a 10% discount using the code SPROGCAST at the checkout].

29 Aug

Book Review: Growing Up Pregnant, by Deirdre Curley

I sat up in bed and admired all the women in the room. All of us had different birth stories, and we each realised how lucky we were to have healthy babies. Although we were all at different stages in our lives, we were all going to be going through the exact same transition into motherhood. (p184)

Deirdre Curley is pregnant and 19. She is surrounded by a supportive family and a loving partner. She really wants to be an actress, and she isn’t at all sure she wants to be a mum.

In Growing Up Pregnant, she tells the story, not just of pregnancy and birth, but all the things that bring her to this point. And then in detail she takes us through the months of her pregnancy, and the reader witnesses her maturing from good-time girl to “the most beautiful pregnant lady” one waitress has ever seen. When she and her partner make up their minds that they will be parents, they commit to the changes they need to make, even when it’s hard to adjust to the loss of old pleasures and still-partying friends. It’s so interesting to read about their mixed feelings as they adjust to this new lifestyle, and the strength and positivity they bring to it is admirable.

Deirdre pauses between each trimester to give a little rundown of what a pregnant woman might be experiencing, how her baby is developing, and any preparation she might consider doing. This includes the most down-to-earth “what to buy” lists of any pregnancy book I have read. She refrains from too much specific detail about pregnancy and birth, but gives a useful overview that would be relevant to a pregnant woman of any age.

This is a properly grounded book, both reflective and informative, and does as good a job as any (and better than most) of getting across what it’s really like to be pregnant and to have a baby. Although the focus is on pregnancy as a young mum, most of the feelings Deirdre expresses are pretty universal: what is happening to me? Will my body ever be the same again? Can I rely on the support of my partner? Am I going to be a good enough mum? Women twice her age think the same things.

I enjoyed taking this journey with Deirdre and her partner Gary, as they put down roots and prepare for the baby. The birth itself is well-written, and early motherhood is covered with both wistfulness and joy. It is a very realistic description and I would certainly recommend this book to pregnant women, whatever their age.

[Disclaimer: I was sent a free review copy of Growing Up Pregnant. You can order yours from Pinter & Martin, with a 10% discount at the checkout if you use the code SPROGCAST]

28 Aug

Book review: Why Your Baby’s Sleep Matters, by Sarah Ockwell-Smith

I am full of admiration for Sarah Ockwell-Smith in her firm and thorough representation of attachment parenting, particularly around the difficult subject of infant sleep.

Her Why It Matters book tells us how infant sleep really works, with technical information in the early chapters, and then a good section on the historical context of social attitudes to sleep, advice, and “experts,” which really feels like the most important part of the book. Having read a great deal about the science of sleep, these sections give some interesting statistics, but didn’t really break any new ground for me. The chapter on the Science of SIDS however was particularly useful and gave me much to reflect on.

Ockwell-Smith writes with a tone of despair that sometimes comes close to contempt for the naivete of society and the many common misconceptions and misunderstandings about infant sleep, and while what she says is satisfyingly evidence-based, referenced and well-explained, I do think the tone could be kinder and more compassionate. The fact is that she pulls no punches, hence my admiration, but this might not be the first book on the subject that I would offer to a parent.

[Disclaimer: I was given a free review copy of this book by the publishers. You can buy it from their website, and get a 10% discount with the code SPROGCAST]

21 Jun

Book review: The Importance of Dads and Grandmas to the Breastfeeding Mother, by Wendy Jones

I would consider Dr Wendy Jones to be one of the most trustworthy resources on breastfeeding in the UK, particularly in her specialist area of breastfeeding and medication. This is a general book about breastfeeding, aimed at fathers and grandmothers. The dad-focus is on how to help (and a little bit of how not to) given that fathers may not fully appreciate the importance of their role to start with; and the granny-focus is on reframing some of the older generation’s expectations and preconceptions, given that they may have done things differently themselves.

Jones lays out the rationale for her advice, with a detailed explanation of what breastmilk is and how breastfeeding works. Each chapter includes a summary of take home messages, and she covers many “But what if…?” scenarios. Well-referenced, with a decent index and a list of helplines, this could be a very useful book. It’s worth pointing out that it covers formula feeding, sterilising equipment, and expressing in some detail too.

My small criticisms would be that the pictures are often small and unhelpful (although there are many good diagrams and tables of information), and being in black and white they are not at all useful for illustrating the colours of newborn poo or changes to a nipple after feeding. I disagree with Jones’ description of colic as pain/wind, when so many authoritative sources, including the NHS, define it as unexplained crying. Perhaps it is difficult to take the pharmacist hat off altogether.

Where Jones does take the pharmacist hat off, however, is in her friendly personal tone, and in the “bonus feature” of her own story about supporting her daughters with breastfeeding, which is fascinating and moving.

This is a book I will keep to hand as a good source of reliable information, and I would widely recommend it to breastfeeding supporters, and of course to Dads and Grandmas.

[Disclaimer: Wendy sent me a free review copy of her book – thank you! We had a chat with her on Sprogcast a little while ago; listen here]

20 Jun

Book Review: Why Starting Solids Matters, by Amy Brown

The subject of starting solids divides parents into those who trust their instincts and those who do not. Those who trust their instincts will enjoy this book, which offers evidence to help them make decisions; but they won’t need it. Those who do not, will find it insufficiently instructional. This is the eternal dilemma of the subject, and Amy Brown recognises that.

This is not a manual for introducing solids. It’s a really good resource, though, for anyone supporting parents in either state of mind. It is a sensible, well-researched little book, casting no moral judgement on any of the different options, even as it sets out the compelling arguments for waiting until around 6 months, and enabling babies to self-feed.

Why Starting Solids Matters gives us an interesting history of infant feeding, which lays foundations for the following chapters. It acknowledges the sparsity of good evidence around allergies, and really makes its point about the importance, above all else, of responsive feeding.

Closing with a ten-step summary and a long list of resources, and thoroughly referenced, Why Starting Solids Matters ticks all my boxes for a thoroughly useful book. I fervently hope that it will be as widely read as it deserves.

[Disclaimer: The publishers sent me a free review copy. You can buy it from their website, and get 10% discount with the code SPROGCAST]

09 Jun

Book Review: The Happy Birth Book, by Beverley Turner with Pam Wild

Beverley Turner’s Happy Birth Book was originally conceived as a handbook for people attending her high-end antenatal courses, and covers a huge range of topics in alphabetical order, so that readers may dip in or look up the thing they’re interested in. Hitting the same market at the same time as Clemmie Hooper (and with a matching cover image) and Milli Hill, Turner’s book lands somewhere between the two, closer in tone to Hooper, but in content to Hill. All three focus on active birth, but while Clemmie digresses into shopping lists, Milli and Bev are both encouraging women to get informed and assert their rights in the birthplace.

The Happy Birth Book is good for instructive diagrams, pithy descriptions (she’s especially good on labour), and a few moments of truly gritty realism which made me laugh out loud. There is a lot of ‘Bev’ and therefore a lot of opinion, and rather too much alternative therapy for my personal taste. I wasn’t too impressed by the breastfeeding information, which tends to give the impression that babies can be fed on a regular timetable, that mothers should eat well to maintain a good milk supply, and that breasts need time to fill up between feeds, none of which is scientifically accurate.

The A-Z approach doesn’t feel to me like the most intuitive way to organise the subject matter, and certainly going from skincare to stillbirth to stretch marks is a bit of a bumpy ride. On the other hand, it does make it – as intended – a book you can dip in and out of, and have to hand for extra information as needed. With its cheery, direct tone, it’s a good alternative for readers who might find the more comprehensive Positive Birth Book a bit too dense, and definitely more empowering than most of the mainstream birth books out there.

[Disclaimer: I was sent a free review copy by the author, and also had a lovely chat with her for the July episode of Sprogcast]