December | 2016 | Motherworldly

17 Dec

Baby’s First Year, by Netmums with Hollie Smith

Having read the atrocious Netmums book on sleep, I had quite low expectations of Baby’s First Year. I was also looking at a 2009 edition, and presume that it has been modernised a little since publication. Nonetheless, I found it to contain a good range of highly practical tips, and a reasonably close representation of the evidence with regard to many of the subjects it covers.

Apart from the usual mythology about cabbage leaves and hindmilk, the breastfeeding sections are pretty accurate, although I was disappointed that breastfeeding is referred to as “extended” from seven months onwards. This easily-navigated little manual is also good on formula feeding, expressing, colic, and sex; but there is a huge gaping hole where the discussion of attachment and emotional development should be, which of course allows them to advocate the cruel and damaging practice of controlled crying. Tellingly, they refer to the “handful of child psychologists… [who] believe it could be damaging,” versus “a great many other experts” (none of whom are named) who think it’s fine. Nothing in the book is referenced, so really they can and do just say what they please.

The book is also quite poor on introducing solids, recommending waiting until six months but with only an aside about baby-led weaning (this being one of the topics which they may have updated, to reflect its increasing popularity).

Personally I am left cold by the many quotes pulled from Netmums message boards, but I guess that is their USP, and you can always skim them like I did. For a manual of the basics, Baby’s First Year is good on the first six months, but the second half is probably too general to be useful to most new mothers, who I expect would be figuring things out for themselves by that time, or seeking out more specialised guidance for the issues they might be experiencing. I’d tear this book in half before giving it to a friend, and wrap it with a copy of Sweet Sleep.

15 Dec

Book review: Nobody Told Me, by Hollie McNish

Like many people, the first I knew of Hollie McNish was her poem Embarrassed on YouTube, which suddenly appeared everywhere I looked. I loved the poem for what it said (“I spent the first feeding months of her beautiful life/Feeling nervous and awkward and wanting everything right.“). I loved her delivery and I loved her: she just looked like an ordinary person I could hang out with, and I can see why she became such a poster girl for the ordinary experience of breastfeeding.

Nobody Told Me isn’t just a collection of poems, it’s the journal of Hollie’s transition from pregnancy through to three years, and somehow in her honesty she manages to convey both her own unique experience, and the universality of early motherhood. The reader witnesses the bleakness of the early days: terror, tinged with wonder; and her growth as a mother, into enjoyment of toddlerhood, and finally a recognition of all she has achieved.

Reading Nobody Told Me repeatedly made me weep, as I recognised with real feeling the floundering, bleeding, and nighttime feeding; the absolute reliance on an amazing supportive bloke; and the guilt-ridden enjoyment of a night away from home.

Hollie’s focus grows from the personal to the political (and this felt familiar too), as she experiences social judgement on all fronts, and also fights conventional stereotypes and lack of diversity. People comment on her child’s mixed race, tell her she’s too young to have a child or should be married, and find her overly strident when she objects to all the characters in storybooks being “he” by default. She’s so right, and we should all be rebelling against this – as a poet she is in a position to articulate this nonsense and say it loud.

Hollie McNish is so articulate and her poems hit the nail on the head over and over again. This would be a fantastic book for someone expecting a baby; for me, it’s almost a memoir.

08 Dec

Book Review: Breastfeeding Uncovered, by Amy Brown

Before reading Amy Brown’s book, I became aware of a highly critical review of it, written by someone who admitted to not having read it. She felt pretty strongly that the world doesn’t need any more books exhorting women to breastfeed.

Having actually read it myself, I get the feeling that Amy Brown would agree with that sentiment; and while Breastfeeding Uncovered: Who Really Decides How We Feed Our Babies comprehensively demonstrates the importance of breastfeeding for babies, mothers, and society, this is not a book telling mothers that they must breastfeed, but rather one that explains the complex range of reasons why so many of us don’t. It’s not even a book that is explicitly aimed at mothers, since it isn’t a how-to-breastfeed manual; and it is likely to be useful to a wide range of readers including new fathers, grandmothers, health professionals, and anyone supporting a breastfeeding mother. It also might be a helpful read for mothers who have stopped breastfeeding and perhaps have mixed feelings about that decision. And one final demographic: I’d recommend this to policy makers, politicians, budget holders, and anyone involved in public health promotion – these are the people who can really use this information to protect and support breastfeeding in a society that just doesn’t seem to get it.

Breastfeeding Uncovered addresses social, cultural and political issues; examines the impact of transition to motherhood; and talks about the reality of breastfeeding for modern families. There are some lovely clear explanations, for example the SIDS statistics in relation to bedsharing; and I found myself trying to memorise certain facts and phrases for use in my own work.

Amy Brown’s voice comes across very clearly, and initially I wasn’t sure if I would find the occasional sarcasm a bit annoying. But she uses it to make such good points that it’s pretty hard to get annoyed. She really just tells it like it is.

If I had to find gaps in this thorough work, I would like to see a little more mention of highly qualified volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellors such as those trained by NCT and ABM, who occupy the space between Lactation Consultants and Peer Supporters. There is also a vast network of support now available on social media and websites like Netmums, but perhaps that’s scope for the next book.

The real strength of Breastfeeding Uncovered is its firm grounding in an absolute wealth of evidence, both from the author’s own research and from many other reputable sources. Haters gonna hate, but they can’t actually argue that Amy Brown is wrong, or that she doesn’t understand the complexities of infant feeding, or that she is exhorting mothers to do things her way; to do so would indicate that they too have not read the book.

You can get a copy of Breastfeeding Uncovered here, with a 10% discount if you use the code SPROGCAST at the checkout.
Disclosure: Pinter & Martin sent me a free review copy of this book.